Monday, June 13, 2011

This I believe is true..

Hello Friends.

It's been a while. I am sorry I have not posted for a while. I mentioned this in my videos, but I will mention it again here-the past few months have been the most emotional of my entire journey here with this illness. I have learned a lot. I have grown a lot. I have stumbled, fallen, hit rock bottom, risen, and fallen again. And somehow, I am here.

I plan to post and make videos about what has been helping me, as I seem to have found a few things that bring relief..and have spent every free moment of my time doing endless research on cures for disease.

Recently, a beloved member of the Chronically Ill Club, and a fellow friend and blogger passed away due to complications of Rheumatoid Arthritis. The news broke my heart into a million pieces..and propelled me further to fight for all of us, and all we deserve- better health care, more awareness, more options, more remedies, less side effects. (or about no side effects? anyone..?) There is not much I know for sure. There is not much I can guarantee. And, just so you know..I do not make promises I cannot keep.

But I promise you this: I will find something to bring all of us relief. Real relief. Not a cover up for pain, but something that makes our cells and our souls dance. I promise you this. I promise with every broken cell, and every beat of my sometimes tired, sometimes overworked, sometimes tachycardic, but always hopeful heart I will find something.

In the meantime, I will focus on what I believe in.

I believe that illness is not a punishment, but rather, an opportunity-

It is an awakening. A time to learn who we are. A time to see our own strength. A time to explore who we were meant to be.

I believe that sometimes we have to be knocked off our feet, to be lead to our true destiny.

I believe that one second, one day, one month, one year-or ten, does not define who we are. At the end of our lives, people won’t remember what we were physically able to do, but how we made them feel.

I believe that true strength is not being strong every moment. I believe true strength is knowing it’s ok to let go.

I believe that true strength is not being strong every moment, but maintaining hope through years of struggle, and searching for answers when you’re told there are none.

And I believe in you. You, out there reading this right now. Your eyes are open, you are reading these words, and though it may hurt right now, you are alive. It is not over yet. You will be standing there with me when we find an answer for all of this. Do not give up now.

I'm not giving up on you. The doctors may have given up on you, your friends may have, your family..but I am not giving up. You don't need to believe there will be a cure. You don't need to believe in any particular God, or Spirit, or doctor, or medicine.

All you need to believe in is you. Belong to the religion of "you", the medicine of "you", the good in you.

I believe..

that one day, this all won't just be a "belief", but a reality.